Simon answered, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets.” 6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets were beginning to burst. 7 So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they began to sink. 8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’s knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” (Luke 5:5-8)
Earlier in the day, Peter and various other fishermen had gone out to fish, and the night had fallen, and they had caught nothing. Let us remember that this was their livelihood. Fishermen fished for food for their families and work. Disappointed in the futile results of their efforts, the fishermen pull in their nets and begin cleaning their nets and boats. As they clean and put away their equipment, Jesus comes up with an idea that seems to frustrate Simon (Peter): “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” We can almost feel the frustration in Simon’s response, “Master, we have worked all night long but have caught nothing. Yet if you say so, I will let down the nets”.
How many times have you unsuccessfully tried to accomplish tasks, projects, dreams, visions, and goals and felt the frustration of failure and a desire to give up? I know I have at least more than once! Simon still holds on to some hope as he calls Jesus “Master.” And though not too happy to have to dirty the equipment again, Simon does what the Master asks: explore the deep waters. After the abundant catch, to the extent that their nets were about to burst, Simon fell at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” What sin has Simon committed that makes him feel unworthy of being in the Master’s presence? Doubt.
Doubt is a common sin that all of us who believe in the Triune God experience more often than we would like to admit. Though we have the ability to trust God once we know God and are familiar with God’s work in our lives, there are those moments when doubt creeps in when we are disappointed, exhausted, frustrated, depleted, and void of energy and passion to heed Jesus’ invitation to go deeper. And most of the time, if not all of the time, the cure to doubt comes from our response to the Master’s asking to leave it all behind, the abundant catch, our livelihood, doubt, security, self-reliance, self-preservation, frustration, fatigue, and hopelessness to dare to rest in the deep waters where all we can do is trust that God has a stronghold on us and a more life-giving way when we decide to follow Jesus.
Name those moments when you have doubted yourself. Name those moments when you have doubted Jesus. What made you realize that you were in the best hands and that all would be alright? What made you feel worthy and whole again? Was it stepping away from the situation for a moment? Was it prayer, rest, reflection, or meditation?
Lent begins this coming Ash Wednesday, March 5th. Let the journey to wholeness begin.
In Christ,
Pastor Iraida